Shelves lined with Chocolate Bunnies, Marshmallow Peeps, and Cadbury Eggs – It can only mean ONE Thing! Passover is almost here!!!!!

Why is it that we know months in advance when a non-Jewish holiday is coming?  When the retailer’s color motif is orange and black, Halloween is just around the corner. When malls are decked in red and green, and incessant seasonal tunes echo in our ears, we know Christmas is near. When CVS and Walgreens are awash with red and pink, could Valentine’s Day be far away?

But JEWISH holidays sneak up on you. Unless you live where the supermarket puts a large display of Kosher l’Pesach Matzah and Gefilite Fish at the front of the store, or a rack of Hagaddahs near the Maxwell House coffee, you wouldn’t have a clue!

So let me help you out. Passover begins this year on Monday night, April 14^th at sunset.  Don’t panic, but you only have a little over two weeks to think about it and make Seder plans!

Ah, but what about those chocolate bunnies? What about Easter? If you have an inter-faith family, you can relax a little. This year Easter falls on Sunday, April 20^th.  Last year Passover and Easter coincided, no doubt causing stress at many levels. Easter and Passover share several obvious things, “greens”, “eggs”, “lamb” “wine” and a “cracker.”  But both holidays have, at their core, an element of “reaffirmation of membership in the tribe.”  Both have themes of “communion” or “unity” at the center of their observance.  This can be felt as a spiritual union, or in a more secular view as a relational one, as simply a close association with the group.

If you come from a traditional Jewish background, you probably did not have Gentiles at your Passover Seder, and wondered why.  If you are Gentile, you probably weren’t invited, and wondered why. Looking back, it was probably as perplexing to the Jew as the Gentile.  Was this a “custom” or a “law?” Simply put, the Torah says we were not to share the roasted paschal lamb with those who are uncircumcised. This law only existed in Temple times, when sacrifices were made. A Gentile eating of that lamb would be equivalent to a Jew being given a communion wafer at Easter.

But here we are in America, in 2014. If we went by this antiquated custom today, our Seder Table would have many empty place settings! Nearly half of all Jewish families today are to some extent interfaith families, and with that figure comes adjustments and compromise for both partners in a marriage. All holidays, Jewish or Gentile, carry with them some innate stress. Be it good stress or bad stress, psychologists will tell you “stress is stress.” That is why the writers of movies and ‘sit coms’ love Thanksgiving.  It gives them a chance to portray both the ideal AND the dysfunctional American family at holiday time!

In planning your “Spring Holidays” here are four Jewish concepts to keep in mind as you reflect on making your Passover comfortable and inclusive:

Mipnei Darkei Shalom - Mishum Eiva: Literally, “to walk in ways of peace or: to prevent animosity”, that is to foster a positive relationship between religions and people.

Mishum Kiruv: Bringing people close

Mishum K'vod Horim: Respecting one's parents, honoring a non-Jewish parent.

Mishum Chinuch : Educating those who attend.

Passover is meant to be a time when we reaffirm our Jewish Identity; how much more so when we share our Seder and our story with family and friends of all faiths.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose

“If You Like Your Synagogue, You Can Keep Your Synagogue”

 THIS SPECIAL PURIM EDITION is reprinted with thanks to “Jewish HumorCentral”

“JUDAICARE” PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT

ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP

FAIR LAWN, March 16 – The Pew survey of U. S. Jews released last October has resulted in an unprecedented synagogue membership initiative undertaken by the Conference of Presidents of Major Conferences of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations  (COPOMCOPOMJO).

The survey showed that less than one-third of American Jews say they belong to a synagogue. Twenty-three percent of U.S. Jews say they attend synagogue at least once or twice a month. Forty-six percent of Jewish households report that they pay dues to a synagogue or temple in the area, and 76 percent report attending services at least on the High Holidays and some as often as weekly.

In order to increase these numbers and ensure that all Jews have synagogue membership, the Jewish leaders are implementing the Affordable Synagogue Membership Plan (ASMP), also known as Judaicare. The plan will enroll members through an exchange, enabling all Jews to choose the membership plan that best suits them. Participants must choose a plan before Rosh Hashanah, when the price of their admission to services will double if they are not listed on the membership rolls.

This penalty, or tax, or mandate, will be offset by subsidies in cases of hardship, although so far nobody has any idea where the money to pay the subsidies will come from. When they log on to the website, www.judaicare.org, they will have a choice of affiliating with an Haredi, Yeshivish, Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Sephardic, Conservadox, Flexidox, Conservative, Reformative, Reform, or Reconstructionist congregation. There will be no penalty for switching from a pre-existing denominational affiliation to a new one.

In each region there will be a choice of plans, but because COPOMCOPOMJO is instituting minimum standards for synagogue services and related programs, the cost of all

membership plans is expected to increase significantly. Enrollees may find that the cost of hot kiddushes with chulent, kugel, sushi, and single malt scotch in every synagogue, and support of mikvah, may experience sticker shock when they see the actual cost of membership.

Congregants will not be required to change their membership. COPOMCOPOMJO President Moishe Kapoier (in Yiddish, a Moishe Kapoyr is someone who always appears to do things in a way diametrically opposed to they way they should be done) declared that “If you like your synagogue, you can keep your synagogue.” But the cost of all memberships is likely to rise because younger people, who are not used to paying dues, may decide it’s more economical for them to pay double for High Holiday seats rather than pay a high membership fee for services that they don’t plan to use.

If younger people don’t sign up in the large numbers needed to keep Judaicare solvent, leaders are considering the imposition of surcharges on the membership plans of congregants who exceed usage of available resources.

Glitches continue to occur during the rollout of the system. Individual members who have logged onto the website are finding that when they try to sign up for membership in their own synagogue which they were assured they could keep, they are being told that the only shuls available are Temple Ohev Kessef  (Temple “lovers of large sums of money”) and Congregation Shomrei Negiah (Congregation “no touching members of the opposite sex”), both located in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn.

At press time, neither the rabbis of these two synagogues nor the administrators of Judaicare could be reached for comment.

Have a Happy Purim! Eat, Drink Responsibly and Be Merry.

Rabbi Rose

Usually a Picture is Worth a Thousand Words – But This One Picture Spoke Volumes!

My “In Box” brought me a beautiful photo this week.  It was a picture of a Bris celebration, with both sets of grandparents, the young couple and the new baby.  At first glance, it is a typical Bris picture with everyone “kvelling” (bursting with pride) over the latest leaf on the family tree.

I took one look at the new grandparents, in the front row of the photo, holding the baby and chills went up and down my spine.  To the left was saba (grandfather) Rabbi Michael Levy and to the right safta (grandmother) Chava Willig Levy.  Both Michael and Chava are incredibly accomplished, warm and wonderful people, the kind of people who deserve everything good in the world.

Michael and Chava have a love story so wonderful that the New York Times wrote an article about it last year, on the occasion of their 30^th anniversary!  You see Michael has been blind since birth and Chava has been wheelchair bound since getting out of an iron lung after surviving polio as a child.  For ten years prior to marrying, their paths crossed multiple times, yet they never met.  First she heard him singing in a concert in Jerusalem, then he heard her sing at a concert in New York.  Eventually they did meet, and found that they shared so many interests, and they knew right away that they wanted to get married. Their wedding vows included this statement of love, and caring, and hope, “I will be her legs and she will be my eyes.”

Seeing them now, it is hard to believe how many people were against this marriage, saying that two people with their limitations could not possibly make a life together, but as Michael said in the Times interview, “We are both very attached to Jewish tradition, we both love music, words, kids, even though we both have disabilities.”

Over time, Michael became a rabbi, received a degree in Social Work, and advocated to make New York City’s transportation system accessible to persons with disabilities and to remove architectural barriers in public buildings. Chava received her B.A. in French literature from Yeshiva University and an M.A. in counseling psychology from Columbia, and became an accomplished writer and motivational speaker. She has just just released her latest book, a memoir called “A Life Not With Standing.”

Seeing them now, after so many years, holding their grandson and reflecting on their lives together reminded me of a midrash, a story that helps illuminate points in the Torah. This midrash asks the question, “What has God been doing since finishing the task of Creation?” The answer -- God undertook the most difficult job possible.  He has spent all his time since the Seventh Day of Creation making shidachs “arranging marriages,” putting together those who are destined for each other, or as we say in Yiddish, “B’shert.” God certainly looked beyond Michal and Chava’s limitations, and saw only the possibilities.

Putin Fiddled While Kiev Burned – Trouble for the Jews of Ukraine

As a Jew, it is a remarkable privilege to live in the United States, where we never question our safety. The fifty billion dollar Sochi Olympics are over.  Baruch Hashem.  Vladimir Putin showed the world Russia’s greatness and modernity.  But the past two weeks also brought upheaval in Ukraine.  Stories of rioting and bloodshed in Kiev vied with weather reports from Sochi for nightly news coverage.

But for Jews, the past two weeks have been filled with trepidation.  Historically Jews and Jewish communities’ knee jerk response to any political decisions is the standard: Is it good or bad for the Jews?  The tiniest tremble in the status quo can wreak havoc on Jewish life.  And so it is with this past week’s seismic rumblings in Ukraine.  What is happening isn’t and won’t be good for the Jews.

You might have to dig in the American & Israeli press to get the details in Ukraine.  That is why I wanted to give you a few words today on the situation, which we know is changing hourly.

·      The four Jewish day schools run by ORT in Kiev have hired armed guards to protect their students.  The cost of this is currently being paid by ORT, a world- wide Jewish organization that provides education and training. 

·      Director of the Federation of Jewish Organizations in Europe, Rabbi Menahem Margolin, has informed the Prime Minister and Defense Minister of Israel of a growing feeling of dread among Jewish communities in Ukraine in the last few days, as the anti-Semitic wave grows.

·      A fire bomb was thrown at a synagogue in Zhprozha,  250 miles east of Kiev.

·      Threatening messages targeted at Jews, such as a message telling the rabbi of Krivoy Rog that he must leave the city within 72 hours.

·      Kiev Rabbi Moshe Azman urged Jews to leave the country fearing they could become victims of the post-revolution chaos.

Ironically, many of the protestors that fought and died in Kiev were, in fact, Jews.  One of those who died was a Veteran of the Afghan war. He took it upon himself to train the protestors, after witnessing the cruel treatment of student protestors by the police.  Prior to a Jewish funeral, his body was brought to the Museum of Bukovinian Jewish History and Culture where over 10,000 people came to honor him.

I hope you will take it upon yourself to keep informed of the events in Ukraine.  It won’t be easy, since both Israeli and American politicians remain painfully silent.  Whatever happens next, it looks like it won’t be good for the Jews of Ukraine.  One emerging new party unfortunately is openly neo-Nazi.  Anti-Semitism has always been just below the surface in Ukraine, and now it is bubbling to the top. I would be remiss if I didn’t make the historical connection that not long ago, in 1941, over the course of only 2 days, 33,000 Jews were shot and killed just outside of Kiev, in a place called Babi Yar. Let us pray for good things for the Jews of Ukraine as a new government emerges, and be prepared to contribute to their assistance, if necessary.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Rose

Thoughts On A Sister Long Departed, But Departed Too Soon

They’d reserved the largest funeral home available… and still, it was standing-room-only.  You always get a crowd when someone dies “before their time.” I ask you, does ANYONE ever think it’s his or her time? These weren’t just locals filling the hall to the rafters… once word got out, people made it their business to get there.  Her last congregation chartered a plane so they could all come. Really.

Maybe you wouldn’t get that kind of crowd today.  This was before funerals were “streamed” or “Skyped.”  There was all that inconvenience of taking time off from “regular” lives. We dressed in black, carried an adequate supply of Kleenex in our little black handbags, signed a hard cover book of condolences, not a virtual one, and dutifully filed past a beautiful 8x10, guaranteed to break your heart.

In life, if you play your cards right, when you go, someone delivers a nice eulogy on your behalf.  But today, one eulogy after the next knocked it out of the park.  As they say in the Book of Proverbs: “A Woman of Valor, who can find?  Her worth is far above rubies!”

We had been sisters.  Actually, there were three of us before the tragic and untimely demise of the eldest.  Now we were down to two, sitting tight… side by side… hunched together… listening.

Who were they talking about? Was this OUR sister?  The one who watched PBS, listened to NPR and had read “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” from cover to cover?  The one you called for answers to questions on potty training, pre-schools and puberty?  Only slightly older, she grew up beside us, but soon flew past us to college, to marriage, to motherhood, and somehow, under our radar, she managed to sail through so many lives, leaving a trail of lasting goodness.

Somewhere, after eulogy three or four, my remaining sister elbowed me and in a very hushed voice asked, “How do you think I’ll be remembered?”  She paused, and then whispered solemnly, in my ear, her own eulogy, “She played Mah Jong and Tennis.”  I squeezed her hand hard to suppress my laughter, and to keep from crying.

Soon, the events of the day were over.  The last words of consolation were uttered, the last guests had left, and I returned to my hotel room with my mind numb and my heart exhausted. Drifting off that night, I recalled my sister's words at the funeral when she posed the question “how would she be remembered?” Before dropping off to a night of deep, deep dreamless sleep, I mumbled to the walls,  “and how will I be remembered?”

I’m Jewish. Is It Okay for Me to Celebrate Valentine’s Day? – You Bet! Just ask the Vatican and Rabbi Moshe Isserlis (Poland 1520-1572)

Once upon a time, Valentine’s Day was simple.  School children, even Jewish children knew to squirrel away a shoebox for future use as a Valentine Mail Box.  We were well versed in the procedure.  Cover with paper, decorate, cut a slit in the top… and bring to school in anticipation of February 14. Then, we waited to see how many cards we would get… and who sent them!

And what did we learn from this ritual?  We learned about both the excitement and dread that can accompany anticipation.  We learned about yearning and hope and that no matter how hard you pray for something, you don’t always get it.  We learned that love comes from some of the most unexpected places.  And we learned a very Jewish lesson, “Do unto OTHERS as you would have THEM do to YOU!” We even learned compassion.  Maybe we gave the prettiest cards to our best friends, but we intuitively knew that no matter who the ‘in’ kids were and who the ‘out’ kids were, nobody should be left out and made to feel hurt or shame.

Now that we are adults, we can add one other important lesson to Valentine’s Day.  In the Book of Leviticus, we are instructed to “Love thy neighbor as thy self.”  Psychologists say that self-love is necessary for humans to be able to extend love to others. 

Still, many Jewish people feel “conflicted” about Valentine’s Day. With the greeting card industry selling over 140 million cards each year for Valentine’s Day, and with advertisers hawking pajama-grams, and chocolate covered strawberries in addition to flowers and jewelry, exactly what are Jews supposed to feel about celebrating the holiday?

Before I get into the Halakha (Jewish Ruling) regarding celebrating holidays that were originally celebrated by gentiles, I’d like to give you a little background on February 14, both from religious  (Christian) and secular perspectives.

MYTH BUSTER ALERT: Hallmark did not invent the Valentine’s Day card.  Such cards started out in Victorian England, as a way of expressing interest and intent at a time when marrying for “love” was quite a new idea.  The concept of elaborate Valentine cards was imported to America by Emily Dickenson’s cousin, Esther Howland.  Her father had a stationary business in Worcester, Massachusetts, and she hired young girls to make the intricate cards in her home.  It became a thriving business.  The rest as they say, is history.

Fast forward to 1969.  During Vatican II, the Catholic Church removed “Saint Valentine’s Day” from their calendar.  Seems there wasn’t enough credible information on someone by that name to give him an actual “Saints Day.”  (Rumor has it that someone named “Valentine,” right before meeting his doom, wrote a letter expressing love for a young woman, and signed it, ‘Your Valentine.’)

As for Jewish Halakha (legal ruling) regarding the celebration of holidays that were originally celebrated by gentiles, Rabbi Moshe Isserlis, who lived in the mid 1500’s in Poland, explained that there are four criteria that must be met in order to permit Jewish celebration of rituals initiated by gentiles. (Another holiday that falls into this category is Thanksgiving.)

First, does the debated activity have a secular origin or value?  Second, can one rationally explain the behavior or ritual apart from the gentile holiday or event? Third, if there are idolatrous origins, have they disappeared?  And fourth, are the activities actually consistent with Jewish tradition and values?

So let’s take a look and see how Valentine’s Day stacks up. The giving of cards, chocolates and gifts can be explained as rational expressions of love and appreciation independent of possible Christian roots.  (Roots that are questionable at best.) As for the holiday’s idolatrous origins? Scholars say that Valentine's Day is not derived from the pagan holiday Lupercalia.  The desire to express love and to offer gifts as a symbol of those feelings is certainly in line with Jewish tradition and values. As for the idea of a special day set aside for love, the Jewish matchmaking festival, ‘Tu B’Av’ - the 15th day of the Jewish month of Av, is being revitalized today in Modern Israel!

So have a Happy Valentine’s Day!  As your rabbi, I can tell you that you have my blessing.  Throw out the guilt and go enjoy the chocolate, the flowers, and the Hallmark cards! And don’t forget about the love.  Without a doubt, celebrating LOVE is very JEWISH!

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose

Pete Seeger and Camp Blue Mountain… I Thank them both For Making me a Zionist by age 10

My earliest memories of attending Bar Mitzvah and wedding parties back in the late 50’s and early 60’s include “flash backs” to undulating waves of guests in circles within circles, holding hands and dancing to “Hava Nagilah,” and “Tzena, Tzena, Tzena.” The first few strains from the band brought everyone to their feet (after kicking off their shoes) and running to the center of the room. Everyone knew the words, and everyone sang. It wasn’t a “Jewish affair” without these songs. There was electricity in the air as guests from all over the country were united by a common thread of Jewish (and Israeli) Pride.

Then, Israel was a new state, so new in fact, that it didn’t have a national “sound” reflecting the youth and energy of a new nation. Then Pete Seeger’s recording of “Tzena, Tzena, Tzena” was released in 1950. It captured that new spirit and was an immediate success, going straight to the top of the charts. I watched a video clip of “Tzena” on TV from 1951, and it was introduced this way, “If you’ve been dancing to this song for the past year, you should know that it comes from the new state of Israel.”  English lyrics were added along with the Hebrew.

On Christmas Eve, 1955, Pete Seeger and The Weavers had a “comeback” performance at Carnegie Hall, having been blacklisted by the music industry after Seeger’s appearance before the House Un-American Activities Committe. Sung during this concert, in addition to the very popular “Tzena” were other Hebrew songs including  “Shalom Chaverim,” and “Mi Yimalel.” Two albums came out of this concert and, as we say today, “went viral.” 

As for that other standard,  “Hava Nagila?” That was popularized by Harry Belafonte, in his concert “Harry Belafonte at Carnegie Hall” in 1959. It became the lifetime  standard of his career.  When interviewed about the impact of Hava Nagila in his life, he told the writer John Leland in his book Hip: The History, “Life is not worthwhile without it. Most Jews in America learned that song from me.”

The impact of Seeger and Belafonte on American and Canadian Jews cannot be underestimated. Israeli folk dancing, Israeli music, and Jewish pride in the new State of Israel erupted. Their voices swerved us from the despair and victimhood of World War II to the elation of Israeli Independence.

The rest, as they say, is history.  College students all over America started singing the songs and grasped on to the Folk Music Revolution. (Note: Seeger’s father was a Harvard musicologist and Pete had traveled with his dad on many of his folk music collecting forays.)  These college students then started working at Jewish summer camps.  They taught the songs to campers who then brought them back to their communities.  Some campers and counselors went on to become professional Song Leaders, Youth Leaders, Rabbis, and Cantors in congregations and camps all over America. And through this Jewish Folk Music revival came a new industry filled with recordings by fabulous, dedicated songwriters and musicians who shaped the modern Zionist and religious music of the Reform and Conservative movements.  They brought the guitars, the drums, the pianos, the tambourines and “ruach” (spirit) and moved us from a minor to a major key. 

Now, can someone explain to me exactly WHY we dance “The Macarena,” “The Electric Slide,” “The Chicken Dance” and “YMCA” at Bar Mitzvahs and Jewish Weddings?

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose