From “Flower Power” to Bubbe and Zayde Power – How Did it Happen So Fast?

You might be old enough to be a Bubbe or Zayde if: you remember “Hair” on Broadway, the Who, the Doors, and the Beatles on the radio, the original “Star Trek” on TV, and “The Graduate” at the movies. You might be old enough to be a Bubbe or Zayde if : your TV shows were in black and white, you carried a transistor radio, had an eight-track tape player in your car, and owned a collection of 45‘s and LP’s  

If you answered “YES” to at least seven out of eight, you are old enough to join the honored ranks of BUBBES and ZAYDES throughout history.  You say you haven’t any grandchildren? Not an excuse. Bubbe and Zayde are a mindset!

Bubbehood and Zaydehood play an important role in Jewish Continuity.  It is our way to “pay it forward,” The “it” I’m referring to is a sense of Jewish history and heritage and “peoplehood.”

As a rabbi I can urge parents to send their kids to Jewish summer camps, to Hebrew School, to Israel on Birthright trips, and suggest to their older kids to check out Hillel and join J-Date.  We know from the statistics that these all lead to a greater sense of Jewish Identity.

But, in “Fiddler” Tevye sings about “TRADITION!”  He utters the line, “here in Anitvkah each one of us knows what to do and what God expects of him!”

Not so simple anymore, is it?  No longer are we cloistered away in shtetels or even just Jewish neighborhoods. And the large, extended Jewish family of the past is no more. Passing on the traditions of being culturally Jewish as well as the customs and rituals is difficult when Jewish grandparents don’t live nearby. Even more challenging is sharing Jewish “Tradition” in inter-faith families where Jewish grandparents may live far away, or are already gone.

There is a touching lament about a Zayde that asks the telling question: “Who will be the Zayde of my children, who will be the Zayde if not me.”  The song goes on to ask an even greater question: “Who will be the Zaydes of our children, Who will be their Zaydes, if not we?”

I’d like to illuminate this concept with a story. The first Passover after my father’s death was difficult. I held the seder in my house, with five of his grandchildren and eight of his great-grandchildren in attendance.  There were twenty-one of us, all together. Everyone settled into chairs at the extremely long table.  But he chair at the head of the table sat empty.   “Aunt Rozie, you sit THERE!” one of the girls said, pointing to the chair.  I turned to my brother-in-law and informed him that now it was HIS place at the table.  He protested, “but that’s Pop-pop’s chair!”   “Well, I said, it used to be his chair, but you are the grandfather now, and these are your grandchildren, so for their sake, you need to do it…YOU need to be the Zayde now, and don’t worry, I’ll conduct the seder. All you have to do is sit in that chair. And just one more thing, you have to dress up like the PHAROAH and bellow, ‘No, No, No, I will not let you go!’ And when I signal you, ransom the Afikommen.” 

Bubbes and Zaydes are still essential to Jewish life… and they needn’t even have a biological connection! Become a surrogate Bubbe or Zayde, a mentor, if you will. We hope you’ll find ways to share your warmth, skills, talents, traditions and history with the children of our synagogue community. Toward that end, I encourage all of you to set aside Friday May 16^th, for a Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat service led by the students of our Religious School. We won’t have a dinner beforehand, but there will be dessert!  And for all you newly deputized Bubbes and Zaydes, this would be a perfect opportunity to practice “Kvelling,” or as it might be translated from the Yiddish, “swelling up with exuberant pride.” The children and I are looking forward to sharing this special Shabbat with all of you.

Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Rose