When it Comes to Christmas – Appreciate but don’t Appropriate

Let me be perfectly honest.  Somewhere there is a photograph of your rabbi sitting on Santa’s knee.  I don’t think it will go viral on the internet… well, I hope it won’t.  I was three years old and Santa was holding court at Bamberger’s Department Store in Plainfield, New Jersey. I believe this was the only “concession” to Christmas that my parents ever made.  But I certainly experienced the excitement of the season.  There was ice-skating at Rockefeller Center, warm chestnuts from street vendors, a walk down 5^th Avenue to see the beautiful displays in the store windows and finally, the Christmas Show at Radio City Music Hall.

In public school, I was exposed to the great and not so great music of the season, both religious and secular.  And while not ALL Christmas songs are written by Jews, there IS a time honored tradition.  Irving Berlin wrote “White Christmas”, Johnny Marks penned “Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer”, Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn wrote the words and music to “Let it Snow, Let it Snow” and “Silver Bells” came from the writing team of Jay Livingston (Jacob Harold Levison) and Ray Evans Rayment (Raymond Bernard Evans). 

When someone wishes me “happy holidays” or “Merry Christmas” I appreciate that because of this season of fellowship, someone has taken the time to offer me a greeting and connect for just a moment. We live in a diverse, democratic country, and receiving the warmth and friendliness that the season brings doesn’t impact my Jewish Identity. 

As early as I can remember, my parents reinforced the idea that there is nothing wrong with enjoying the beauty of someone else’s celebration. (Just as you learn at a young age when you’re attend someone’s birthday party, you enjoy being there but it isn’t YOUR birthday and those aren’t YOUR presents, and no, you can’t blow out the candles on the cake.)

The Jewish calendar is filled, almost on a monthly basis with holidays and festivals, but they aren’t on TV and we don’t get bombarded with store catalogues for Sukkot, Purim or Tu B’shevat deals!  However, our lives, and the lives of our children and grandchildren are greatly enriched by making time throughout the year to honor our own traditions.

This year, as is our custom on Christmas Eve (or as we call it, “erev yomtov”), Gary and I will visit with dear friends. I will make and bring the “traditional” NOODLE KUGEL for the buffet table, and we will gather by the fire, Jews and Gentiles, each with a copy of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.”  We will read and discuss the entire tale, a story rich in Jewish values, especially those of Teshuva, and Tzedahkah.

So, ultimately, it all comes down to this -- You can best honor your friends, relatives and neighbors of the Christian faith by acknowledging that the holiday holds a deep, spiritual meaning for them, a meaning that you, as a Jew, do not share.  And so, this holiday season, appreciate all it has to offer, but remember to not appropriate it.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose

A Week of Candles – And Keeping Faith

 

"The soul of man is the candle of God."

Book of Proverbs 20:27

Strike a match.  Light a candle. Watch the flame. Moments after the wick grabs the fire, the candle begins to breath. It grows, it intensifies, illuminating the darkness, and then eventually, fades away.

A week ago, we culminated our celebration of the Festival of Lights, Chanukah.  We lit candles for eight days to remember our triumph over oppression at the hands of the Syrian Greeks.  We were reminded that, even in times of adversity, we must keep our faith and our trust in God alive. Each night we added a candle, praised God for the miracles he wrought for our ancestors, until, finally the entire menorah was ablaze and our rededication to the faith of our Fathers and Mothers complete.

This past week, on Robben Island, a single candle was lit in prison cell number five, where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for eighteen years.  Throughout South Africa, and in communities all over the globe, candles were lit as a celebration of his life and as a memorial to his deeds. President Theodore Roosevelt, in a speech given at the Sorbonne in 1910, describes the qualities of a man like Mandela:

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without enthusiasm, great devotions. (he is a person) who spends himself in a worthy cause.”

How do we memorialize such a man? In the words of songwriter Peter Yarrow:

            “Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice Freedom and Justice demand.”

This weekend, far away from Johannesburg, other candles will be lit. These candles will illuminate the darkness in Newtown, Connecticut, on the first anniversary of the Newtown Massacre. Turning its back on the media, the families of the victims and the citizens of Newton have eschewed a public memorial in favor of a deeply personal and meaningful act.  They will light candles on the eve of December 14, the night before the nightmare. As was pointed out to the media, there is no venue that could hold all the people and all the grief in Newtown.  But each person, in quiet contemplation, will have a chance to light a candle, leaving Newtown in a soft glow of memory.

Peter Yarrow’s gentle refrain gives voice to this simple act:

 “Don’t let the light go out, let it shine through our love and our tears.”

Jews memorialize with the flickering flame of the Yahrzeit candle, the small candle that burns for twenty-four hours and is traditionally lit on the eve of the anniversary of the death of a close relative.  I’ve often been asked if it is “okay” to light a Yahrzeit candle for someone who is not a near relative. The answer is “yes.”  The lighting of Yahrzeit candles is a “minhag” or custom, not a commandment.  There is no blessing to be said. Simply put, lighting a Yahrzeit candle can be comforting, spiritual and healing.

And in case you were wondering, yes, it is “okay” to light a candle for Nelson Mandela or Newtown, or loved ones who are gone. That light is as an expression of what is in your heart, for the candle with its small, steady flame, kindles memories, and memories are never consumed.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose