When it Comes to Christmas – Appreciate but don’t Appropriate

Let me be perfectly honest.  Somewhere there is a photograph of your rabbi sitting on Santa’s knee.  I don’t think it will go viral on the internet… well, I hope it won’t.  I was three years old and Santa was holding court at Bamberger’s Department Store in Plainfield, New Jersey. I believe this was the only “concession” to Christmas that my parents ever made.  But I certainly experienced the excitement of the season.  There was ice-skating at Rockefeller Center, warm chestnuts from street vendors, a walk down 5^th Avenue to see the beautiful displays in the store windows and finally, the Christmas Show at Radio City Music Hall.

In public school, I was exposed to the great and not so great music of the season, both religious and secular.  And while not ALL Christmas songs are written by Jews, there IS a time honored tradition.  Irving Berlin wrote “White Christmas”, Johnny Marks penned “Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer”, Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn wrote the words and music to “Let it Snow, Let it Snow” and “Silver Bells” came from the writing team of Jay Livingston (Jacob Harold Levison) and Ray Evans Rayment (Raymond Bernard Evans). 

When someone wishes me “happy holidays” or “Merry Christmas” I appreciate that because of this season of fellowship, someone has taken the time to offer me a greeting and connect for just a moment. We live in a diverse, democratic country, and receiving the warmth and friendliness that the season brings doesn’t impact my Jewish Identity. 

As early as I can remember, my parents reinforced the idea that there is nothing wrong with enjoying the beauty of someone else’s celebration. (Just as you learn at a young age when you’re attend someone’s birthday party, you enjoy being there but it isn’t YOUR birthday and those aren’t YOUR presents, and no, you can’t blow out the candles on the cake.)

The Jewish calendar is filled, almost on a monthly basis with holidays and festivals, but they aren’t on TV and we don’t get bombarded with store catalogues for Sukkot, Purim or Tu B’shevat deals!  However, our lives, and the lives of our children and grandchildren are greatly enriched by making time throughout the year to honor our own traditions.

This year, as is our custom on Christmas Eve (or as we call it, “erev yomtov”), Gary and I will visit with dear friends. I will make and bring the “traditional” NOODLE KUGEL for the buffet table, and we will gather by the fire, Jews and Gentiles, each with a copy of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.”  We will read and discuss the entire tale, a story rich in Jewish values, especially those of Teshuva, and Tzedahkah.

So, ultimately, it all comes down to this -- You can best honor your friends, relatives and neighbors of the Christian faith by acknowledging that the holiday holds a deep, spiritual meaning for them, a meaning that you, as a Jew, do not share.  And so, this holiday season, appreciate all it has to offer, but remember to not appropriate it.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose

A Week of Candles – And Keeping Faith

 

"The soul of man is the candle of God."

Book of Proverbs 20:27

Strike a match.  Light a candle. Watch the flame. Moments after the wick grabs the fire, the candle begins to breath. It grows, it intensifies, illuminating the darkness, and then eventually, fades away.

A week ago, we culminated our celebration of the Festival of Lights, Chanukah.  We lit candles for eight days to remember our triumph over oppression at the hands of the Syrian Greeks.  We were reminded that, even in times of adversity, we must keep our faith and our trust in God alive. Each night we added a candle, praised God for the miracles he wrought for our ancestors, until, finally the entire menorah was ablaze and our rededication to the faith of our Fathers and Mothers complete.

This past week, on Robben Island, a single candle was lit in prison cell number five, where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for eighteen years.  Throughout South Africa, and in communities all over the globe, candles were lit as a celebration of his life and as a memorial to his deeds. President Theodore Roosevelt, in a speech given at the Sorbonne in 1910, describes the qualities of a man like Mandela:

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without enthusiasm, great devotions. (he is a person) who spends himself in a worthy cause.”

How do we memorialize such a man? In the words of songwriter Peter Yarrow:

            “Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice Freedom and Justice demand.”

This weekend, far away from Johannesburg, other candles will be lit. These candles will illuminate the darkness in Newtown, Connecticut, on the first anniversary of the Newtown Massacre. Turning its back on the media, the families of the victims and the citizens of Newton have eschewed a public memorial in favor of a deeply personal and meaningful act.  They will light candles on the eve of December 14, the night before the nightmare. As was pointed out to the media, there is no venue that could hold all the people and all the grief in Newtown.  But each person, in quiet contemplation, will have a chance to light a candle, leaving Newtown in a soft glow of memory.

Peter Yarrow’s gentle refrain gives voice to this simple act:

 “Don’t let the light go out, let it shine through our love and our tears.”

Jews memorialize with the flickering flame of the Yahrzeit candle, the small candle that burns for twenty-four hours and is traditionally lit on the eve of the anniversary of the death of a close relative.  I’ve often been asked if it is “okay” to light a Yahrzeit candle for someone who is not a near relative. The answer is “yes.”  The lighting of Yahrzeit candles is a “minhag” or custom, not a commandment.  There is no blessing to be said. Simply put, lighting a Yahrzeit candle can be comforting, spiritual and healing.

And in case you were wondering, yes, it is “okay” to light a candle for Nelson Mandela or Newtown, or loved ones who are gone. That light is as an expression of what is in your heart, for the candle with its small, steady flame, kindles memories, and memories are never consumed.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Rose

FROM “ROCK OF AGES” to PLYMOUTH ROCK THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!

What a display at HOME DEPOT! A WALL of Giant Turkey Fryers accompanied by gallon containers of CRSICO!  Normally, I would have just walked by but “WAIT” I said to myself.  Could it be?  Would this be the best way for my family to celebrate the convergence of Thanksgiving and Hanukah? I had a momentary vision of Deep Fried Turkey sharing the sideboard with potato latkes (or sweet potato latkes!). The Festival of Oil suddenly took on a new meaning!  And then I snapped out of it.

How wonderful to have Hanukah arrive so “early” on the secular calendar, running head on into Thanksgiving! Our Thanksgivakah tables will be decorated with dreidels, menorahs, and a traditional fall cornucopia. Think of it as Blue and White meets Orange and Brown.  Malka Stewart meets Martha Stewart.  

How wonderfully refreshing it will be this year not to hear the term  “The December Dilemma,” as Hanukah and Christmas traditionally “butt heads” every year, bringing about children’s books with titles like “It isn’t the Jewish Christmas.” Hebrew Schools are strong on the Judah Maccabee beats the Syrian Greeks and rededicates the Temple in Jerusalem.  They are a little weak on the other part of the story, the fight against Jewish assimilation into the Greek lifestyle that had seduced so many Jews of the time.  Maybe that message strikes a little too close to home!

 But it is November, and this year, finally, Baruch Hashem (bless God) we finally have the RIGHT convergence of holidays!  Thanksgiving, a festival of religious freedom combined with Hanukah, a festival of religious freedom!  I wish we could schedule the holidays to coincide every year!  Imagine a tradition of going around the dinner table and alternating one Jewish thing you are thankful for with one American thing you are thankful for!

The Pilgrims, those men, women and children who survived their first year, and who celebrated the first Thanksgiving, drew their strength from their strong religious convictions and a belief in God. Even after their first year of hardship in the new land, and the loss of friends and family members, they sat down to thank God for their survival, and for the ability to practice their religion as they saw fit. In a spirit of peace and rededication they sat down to a meal modeled after the biblical Festival of Booths, Sukkot.

As you sit around your Thanksgiving/Hanukah table, make sure to reflect on the theme of Religious Freedom.  The Pilgrims paved the way so that our grandparents and great grandparents would have a safe haven where they could be Jewish without persecution.

Yes, the Pilgrims’ voyaged on the Mayflower and landed on Plymouth Rock, so that our families could, over the  course of the next three hundred years, come to America on a later boat.

A Note to My Congregation - LAST SHABBAT WE WERE ALL SMILES! – So What’s JEWISH about SMILES?

There were smiles abounding last Shabbat!  It was apparent from the energy in the room that some amazing dynamic was going on.  Granted, we don’t usually get a chance to smile much on Rosh Hashanna or Yom Kippur, the two days when most Jews are likely to show up for services, but last Friday’s Shabbat Dinner and Service was a “Smile Fest!” I’ve gotten e-mails and phone calls to tell me how “happy” the evening was!

I think we can credit the phenomenon to the infectious nature of smiles.  The most “contagious” of these was that of the head of our “SUNSHINE COMMITTEE”, Nancy Lagasse, who literally SHONE as she and her service dog ARKIN greeted each arriving person.  We had so many new people last week! Our “regular” congregants went out of their way to make them feel welcome and in short order we had fifty-five very happy folk smiling, eating, talking, singing and praying. (They were even happy as they cleaned up!)

Judaism has something to say about EVERYTHING, so why not SMILING? In the Mishnah (Pirkei Avot – the Ethics of the Fathers 1:15) We are guided by the great teacher, Shammai, to “Receive everyone with a cheerful face!” Elsewhere, in Pirket Avot (4:20) we are instructed, “Always be the first one to greet every person.”  “Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai said, “Never did I meet anyone in the street who greeted me before I greeted them.” Rav Dessler admonished a pupil, who was walking around wearing a long face, saying: “You are like a thief! You are depriving your fellow human beings of the pleasantness of a cheerful face!”

To smile is innately human.  There is evidence that babies smile in the womb.  We know that smiling at an infant almost always elicits a smile from the infant.

So, what’s in a smile that makes us feel so good?   Biologically, we know that smiling is good for us.  Smiling releases neuropeptides, tiny molecules that allow neurons to communicate.  They facilitate sending messages to the whole body when we are happy, sad, angry, depressed, or excited. The “feel good” neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are all released when a smile flashes across your face. A study published in the journal Neuropsychologia reported that seeing an attractive smiling face activates your orbitofrontal cortex, the region in your brain that process sensory rewards. This suggests that when you view a person smiling, you actually feel rewarded.
It is apparent that the Rabbis were on to something long before the biologists and the psychologists got in on the action.
Have you ever wondered about UNSMILING people?  In an interview in WIRED.com, Marianne La France, an experimental psychologist at Yale, who has written a book on the subject of smiling,  Lip Service: Smiles in Life, Death, Trust, Lies, Work, Memory, Sex and Politics, was asked: “What is it about unsmiling people that is unnerving?”
Her response? “People convey by their faces that they acknowledge us, that we’re alive, that we matter, that we are not just objects to be dispensed with.”
And that, I believe, is what the rabbis were trying to get at. Smiling is a gift, a God given gift.  A gift meant to be given away, not hoarded. I know, first hand, what a day can be like without giving away a smile.  Twenty years ago, I developed Bell’s Palsy, a paralysis of the facial muscles.  I couldn’t smile for months. The inability to smile was so disconcerting that, when the Palsy finally dissipated, I made a promise to myself to make it a point to do what the rabbis had suggested, “to greet everyone with a smiling face.”
I’m not sure what the rabbis would have said if they could have looked into the future, a world in which a graphic symbol called an “emoticon” would take the place of human smiles and laughter.  That is why we, in order to retain our humanity, need to take every opportunity for face-to-face interaction. Our lives are rich in “communication devices, yet miserly in face-to-face communication.
God willing, as the congregation expands, so will your circles of friends, acquaintances, people of similar interests, those you need to care about. Relationships build congregations. When we meet again, at Sunday School, at services, at Book Club, or Adult Ed, in the temple kitchen, at the supermarket, or volunteering in the community, I hope there will be a smile on your face; the gift that keeps on giving.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Rose

A Touching and Meaningful Moment Caught for Posterity

As history moves further and further into the past, first hand witness accounts by those who were “there” are fewer and fewer. But, historian David McCullough noted, history wasn’t “history” the day it was lived. And so we are extremely fortunate when a “living legacy” can fill in the details of a history making moment.

I recently read a touching, true, eyewitness  account set in Selma, Alabama in March of 1965.  On 25 March,1965, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led thousands of nonviolent demonstrators to the steps of the capitol in Montgomery, Alabama, after a 5-day, 54-mile march which originated in Selma.  Marching with him was one of the greatest rabbis of all time, Abraham Joshua Heschel.  Heschel was a close personal friend of Dr. King and they marched, side by side, arms linked with other important faith leaders, in solidarity.

For Heschel, the march was not just a political statement, it had spiritual significance. He wrote, "For many of us the march from Selma to Montgomery was about protest and prayer. Legs are not lips and walking is not kneeling. And yet our legs uttered songs. Even without words, our march was worship. I felt my legs were praying."

So here is the story of one eyewitness to history.

This past year, while preparing to officiate at a Bar Mitzvah in Selma, Alabama, Rabbi Marshal Klaven was approached by an elderly African-American woman who asked, “Do you know a rabbi by the name of Abraham Joshua Heschel?” Momentarily taken aback, Rabbi Klaven responded, “I didn’t know him personally, but who doesn’t know his enduring words from this very town, where he marched with Dr. King. In recollecting on that moment, he said his “feet were praying.”’

“Well”, Ms. Jackson responded, “when his feet weren’t praying, they were resting in my home.  I hosted him for the night and the next morning I saw one of the most amazing sights these eyes of mine have ever seen.

“The Rabbi came into my living room, where the Russian Orthodox Priest (also staying in our home) was sitting.  They nodded to one another in reverent silence.  Then the Rabbi put his prayer book on my mantle and recited his morning prayers.  All the while, the Priest listened intently, prayerfully.  When the Rabbi finished, he closed his book and took a seat.  Then, the Priest stood up, went to the mantle, laid out his religious items and opened his prayer book.  He too recited his morning prayers, while the Rabbi sat there, intently, prayerfully, taking it all in.” 

This was her account of a wordless moment in history that still speaks volumes.

Rabbi Klaven was mesmerized by her voice and his mind conjured up a picture of the historic scene.  For a moment both were silent. Rabbi Klaven’s reverie was broken when Ms. Jackson added in a firm voice: “So, don’t tell me religions can’t get along!”

History is filled with voices that reach out and lift the spirits, and Jean Jackson’s  story brings us such a voice, a voice that enriches a moment in history.

.

I’d like to conclude with a quote from David McCullough’s 2003 National Endowment for the Humanities Lecture,

 “There are, of course, great sweeping tides in history -- plague, famine, financial panic, the calamities of nature and war. Yet time and again, more often than not history turns on individual personality, or character.”

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were just such  men; men of integrity, men of character, men of faith who shaped the events of their day; their day, which we now call history.

May we continue to see the importance of and strength in interfaith relationships as key building blocks of our communities.  I hope, that as we enter into interfaith alliances in our community, that we are moved by the actions that day of both Rabbi Heschel and the Russian Orthodox priest… and by Jean Jackson’s prophetic words.

Rabbi Rose

LET’S GET THE WORD OUT – IF YOU HAVE EVEN ONE JEWISH GRANDPARENT – GET TESTED

It used to be that, before marrying, couples only sought out genetic testing for “Jewish” diseases if both parties were Jewish. Most couples just skipped the testing if they were marrying a non-Jew. But research has shown that that is no longer the case.  Having even ONE Jewish grandparent is enough to raise the red flag for a screening panel.

But how do you keep track of that Jewish grandparent?  It is getting harder and harder.  Intermarriage stood at 28% in the 70’s. It climbed to 38% in the early 80’s, and stood at 43% by 1985.  Today, the rate of intermarriage is at 71%. If the offspring of intermarrieds marry other intermarrieds it isn’t too long before you lose track of that Jewish Grandparent gene!  As fewer and fewer American Jews self-identify as Jewish, the problem is compounded, and certainly, the knowledge that you are descended from an Ashkenazi Jew who came over on a boat 150 years ago will disappear completely.

When I say “Jewish Diseases” I mean to say that it isn’t just “Tay-Sachs” anymore. Actually, testing for Tay-Sachs among Jews has been so successful that it has almost been eliminated in the Jewish population in America.  HOWEVER, the list of “Ashkenazi Jewish” diseases that are testable by genetic screening has grown. Yeshiva University’s Program for Jewish Genetic Health’s “Ashkenazi Jewish Screening Panel”, screens for eighteen genetic diseases. (In Israel there are screenings for other diseases common among Sephardic Jews)  This list only includes diseases that are truly devastating with no possible positive outcome. To understand how seriously heartbreaking these diseases are, visit the website of the YeshivaUniversity’s Program for Jewish Genetic Health.

One of the “jobs” of a modern rabbi is to counsel couples right before they marry. Usually by the time the couple gets to sitting down with the rabbi, they’ve already put a deposit down on the reception, chosen the colors for the bridesmaids’ dresses and hired the D.J.  Along with the counseling comes the question.. “have you had genetic screening for Jewish diseases?”  Seems to me that it is pretty late in the game to bring up the subject.

Ultra-Orthodox Jews have their own genetic screening program developed so that professional matchmakers anywhere in the world can avoid introducing a couple if they are not genetically compatible.  Their children are tested before they are of marriageable age, assigned a code, and when they are “fixed up” they find out if it is a “safe match” with neither party knowing who is the carrier and what the disease is to avoid social stigma.

I cannot stress enough how important “Jewish” gene testing is for those contemplating marriage and children.  IT IS POSSIBLE TO AVOID THE HEART ACHE that all of these catastrophic diseases cause!  Couples who pass the genes, only to make the discovery during pregnancy are faced with the uneasy choice of either having a therapeutic abortion, if legally permitted in their state, or carrying to term.  Sadly, many of these diseases cannot be detected until far into the pregnancy.

Screening for Jewish genetic diseases is affordable. With health insurance, the cost is about $50 and about $600 for those without health insurance. Considering that most teens and college students are covered by their parents’ health coverage, it would be smart to find a college Hillel or Jewish Community Center that holds such screenings, or have it privately done.

I sincerely hope you will discuss this information with your own children, grandchildren, friends and relatives, and especially in families where there have been intermarriages, stress that IT ONLY TAKES ONE JEWISH GRANDPARENT!

For more information on Jewish Genetic Diseases and Testing http://www.jewishgeneticdiseases.org
https://www.yu.edu/jll/genetichealth/core-efforts/awareness-education/program-resources/genetic-basics/

Rabbi Rose

HOW CAN YOU PRAISE THE ACTS OF CREATION SITTING AT YOUR DESK? - Go Out and Commune with Nature!

This week we REWIND the Torah, back to the beginning… I mean, really, THE BEGINNING.  Genesis. We start with the opening words, “Breisheet Barah Eloheim et HaShamiyim v’et HaAretz”.  “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Now the earth was unformed and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of God hovered over the face of the waters.  And God said: 'Let there be light.' And there was light!”

We recall the act of Creation each time we recite the Yotzer Or prayer “Who Brings forth Light.”

In mercy do You give light to the earth and to all who dwell upon it, and in Your goodness do you renew every day, continuously, the work of Creation. How great are Your works, Adonai! In wisdom you made them all, filling the earth with your creatures.

Personally, I think that there should be a prayer for PHOTOSYNTHESIS! Even if you are not into thanking God for acts of science… you’ve GOT to admit that Photosynthesis is just remarkable.  I thank God for photosynthesis early in the Spring, when, in less than 24 hours, that remarkable shade of green turns the brown of winter into rebirth and renewal.  I make the same blessing in the Fall, when tourists flock to our part of Virginia to see the leaves “turn.”

Autumn made its debut here this week. Again, in a period of 24 hours, the leaves blew off our cherry tree, leaving her alarmingly naked.  Gusting winds brought down swirls of yellow leaves and on cue, the forests started to thin.  The color scheme of the Blue Ridge Mountains began its change from solid green foliage into a riot of reds, orange, yellows, and shades of golden brown.

Colors are changing for the wildlife as well. Protective Coloration; also a gift from God’s Palette. Deer are getting harder to spot by predators, both natural and vehicular, as they turn from brown to dusky grey, blending with tree bark.  Wild turkey hens, now the color of harvested fields, flock by the road. “Our” Momma bear and cub lumber through the yard, down to the stream, their coats deep black with lustrous well-oiled winter fur. 

A final explosion of flowers and color can be seen by the roadside and in peoples’ yards. The last of the harvest is gathered. It is glorious!  Yes, each day God renews his Covenant with us.

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

I would like to conclude with a prayer, by Reb Nachman of Bratslav, the Hasidic Jewish Master, the great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov.

Reb Nachman's religious philosophy revolved around closeness to God and speaking to God in normal conversation "as you would with a best friend." The following prayer is just such a conversation:

A Prayer of Reb Nachman of Bratslav

Hashem:

Grant me the ability to be alone!

May it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grass-

among all growing things,

and there may I be alone,

and enter into prayer,

to talk with the One to whom I belong.

May I express there everything in my heart,

and may all the foliage of the field-

all grasses, trees and plants-

awake at my coming,

to send the powers of their life into the words of my prayer

so that my prayer and speech are made whole

through the life and the spirit of all growing things,

which are made as one by their transcendent Source.

May I then pour out the words of my heart

before your Presence like water, Hashem,

and lift up my hands to You in song,

on my behalf, and that of my children!

Just imagine a day that contains this prayer. Imagine taking a break from whatever else you are doing in your busy schedule to say these words.  Imagine having the courage to say these words on days you are held down by mental or physical inertia.  Imagine stepping outside each day, being in the moment, speaking these words.  Write these words down and say them everyday.  Shortly, they will be in your memory, allowing you to concentrate on your breathing and then, perhaps allow you to lift up your eyes, your arms and your heart in prayer.

Shavua Tov,

Rabbi Rose

 

La Crosse the Kitten ends Sukkot

 

This was La Crosse's first Sukkot. She was born in a barn. Her mother's name is Trudy Katz, so you can imagine that she was quite anxious to celebrate the holidays.

Sukkot at Fauquier Jewish Congetgation

A good time was had by all!